The Cognitive Origins of ADHD
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Everyday I assemble my resources and best practices to set intention and create meaningful completion. Somedays I am more successful than others. I use mindfulness apps like 10% Happier to get present and in my body. I bring forth a nugget of knowledge from a number of resources like Adam Grant, Susan David, Simon Sinek or Andrew Huberman. I use my Positive Intelligence practice to identify potential Saboteur moments in the day and reframe them as Sage opportunities. I practice self-care like sleep, exercise and nutrition. I clarify my priorities - both time sensitive and the slow-build items that no one is expecting - and lay them over a time-frame for the day and week.
The problem is that this is never enough. In my brain there are forces at work at a deep cognitive level that continuously distort my picture of success, overwhelm my thoughts with too many options and erect a wall between my plan and engaging with my plan. I have ADHD and my ADHD, like everyone else’s ADHD operates in a stealth mode deep below what is observable - the behaviors, the strategies, the emotions, the plans and the results.
I chuckle when I am prompted by a voice in my ear to Just activate! or to Recall a time when…!. ADHD operates at the earliest origins of cognition well before the moment our own awareness starts to occur. I can recognize behaviors or modes of operation that don’t serve me and I can see the related feelings or mood that informs that behavior. I can sense how my body responds to this mood/mode dynamic. This is the basis of behavior modification and the work of coaching.
Here’s an example.
Just about everyday I wake up with Avoider. Everyday my first reflex is to hesitate. This is an unfortunate but real default mode. I've learned to overcome my default mode. I’ve built a successful ADHD coaching business. I am a respected coach trainer and I host a successful podcast. I’ve raised two children with my wife of 29 years. So I have done some things but always with the presence of Avoider.
We all have a default mode. For some it is Avoider. For others it is Restless, Hyper-Achiever, Victim or Stickler (from the Positive Intelligence program). What we often don’t appreciate is a default mood that goes with our default mode. For me my default mood is something like What will go wrong? This mood/mode cocktail is nicely paired with a sense of heaviness and dread I feel through my body. Programs like Positive Intelligence and 10% Happier explore this behavior/mood/body sensation connection. Mindfulness and awareness practices help to identify and disrupt these patterns. But with ADHD I’ve found that these practices alone will not guarantee a fulfilling and meaningful day.
This mood/mode cocktail is nicely paired with a sense of heaviness and dread I feel through my body.
ADHD is a cause and effect dilemma more than an attention dilemma. Not only is it difficult to formulate a plan and execute that plan, it is extremely challenging to get to the causation of our experiences. This is why we are destined to repeat the same mistakes over and over. ADHD disrupts our ability to carry the learning forward from one hard fought experience to the next. It’s hard to get to causation but it is not impossible. Let's go back to my example of the Avoider and the associated mood of What will go wrong? Many conventional practices will suggest pivoting the negative question to What will go right, Cam? But if we go to the cognitive origins of these thoughts and feelings we can see how my own executive function processes create this Avoider/Fear/Dread result.
My ADHD:
Creates a temporal plane devoid of any measurement of time
Bombards my inbox with 47 ideas for the day and 47 different ways to engage with those ideas leaving me in a state of overwhelm
Erases my sense of self - my knowing as a capable and competent being with value and skills
Disassembles my gearbox - my own internal mechanism to shift from a thinking state into an active doing state and back again.
One can see how with ADHD in the mix I am prone to a fear/avoidance default setting. So why is it that I am generally an optimistic person? That I look at each day with hope and anticipation?
Because now I know to look at my observable behaviors and moods in the context of my ADHD. I practice my mindfulness and affirming statements but more importantly I explore the causal qualities of my ADHD. I take time to make time work for me. I put a limiter on my Big Idea Generator. I remind myself of who I am and why I do what I do. I fabricate a reliable 2nd gear to transition more effectively in my day. I collaborate more often than not because clarity and certainty come to me through conversations. What I am not doing is getting hung up in this Avoider/Fear/Dread spin cycle like I used to years ago.
As you explore your own mood/mode/body sensation connections get curious about how your ADHD influences at this place of cognitive origins. The key is to bring curiosity and compassion and not the fear of a Saboteur.
This is in part some of the work I do with my clients. I see emotions as not just something to regulate but a magnificent resource that is key to motivation, leadership, meaningful relations and fulfillment. If you are intrigued by exploring this connection deeper check out my Equanimity class that is coming up in October. Equanimity mixes the Positive Intelligence program and doing what matters all in the context of ADHD.